Be the change you wish to see in the world……”

Australia is burning.

The ocean is boiling.

The climate is changing.

Mother Earth has had enough of her ungrateful children and she is about to turn up the heat and be rid of us all.

Life will continue without us.

Life always finds a way.

The life that survives will survive until ego and bravado get in the way. Until it attempts to surpass and betray its creator. Until it stumbles out into the world, self aware with something to prove; motherless monsters sewn together out of spare parts. Until fire, stolen from Zeus, in the hands of mere mortals, burns the whole place to the ground.

These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night, as my husband dreams, dogs snore and cats roam the hallway in search of nonexistent mice.

I applied for Greenpeace membership at twelve or thirteen after seeing the “Pollution” video in school (I was told to reapply when I was legal.) I joined P.E.T.A. and the Animal Liberation Front when I was old enough to write a check. I wanted nothing more at that time in my life than to chain myself to something bigger than myself and dare something even bigger to bring me down. I wanted to spray paint baby seals, protect redwood trees with my body, and in general rage against the machine of environmental destruction.

I thought that violence, rage, and fire were the answer.

Violence is quick. It is flashy. It is powerful. It is seductive.

Violence gives you control.

Violence gives you the ability to save something smaller at the expense of something bigger and not feel guilty for the collateral damage.

Until I learned that eco terrorism is still terrorism and peace gained thorough violence is just violence with the blood stains washed off.

Until I learned that fire met with fire only leads to an inferno.

Until I learned that “collateral damage” has a name and a face and a family.

Until I learned that at some point in all power struggles and negotiations, someone has to be the adult. Someone has to set the example. Someone has to take a step back and see if their actions are helping or hurting their cause.

I wake to the beginning of the apocalypse and I am ready to fight.

I am restless.

I am conflicted.

I am solider at war with myself.

I am on edge.

I pace and snarl and snap.

It feels helpless to do nothing while the world goes up in flames.

Peace is not flashy and it moves too slowly. The child in me wants gratification now.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Violence begets violence; fire met with fire until there are no winners, only embers.

If you want calm, you must BE calm.

If you want peace, you must BE peaceful.

Big moments of display and grandeur are only that….moments.

Change, real change, comes from BEING that which you hope to bring out in others and in the world.

It is doing the work everyday. Leading by example, hoping others will follow. It is small and it is tedious. It is not glamorous or seductive. It is not stylized or choreographed and isn’t set to music.

It is doing the work after the anger has faded and the drudgery sets in.

It is stepping away from the keyboard and into the world.

It is showing up day after day after day even when it is no longer fashionable to do so.

It is getting your hands dirty not blood soaked.

My husband, sensing my angst, came home from the store ready to help me do battle. He came bearing…. reusable metal straws. It is a small thing that may not have an impact during our time on the planet, like planting a tree that may never bear fruit in our lifetime, but that’s the point isn’t it?

It is a small step in the right direction, in a very long journey.

Seems he wasn’t lying there oblivious while dogs dreamed and cats chased lost causes after all.