I have been wearing my “Shit Socks” recently.

Metaphorically speaking.

And I want to apologize.

I made the commitment at the beginning of the year that I was going to blog each and every day.
And I have.
Which is a huge accomplishment for me.

But…..I feel like I have hit the mid season slump. My vision of “reporting” from the beach, exploring local haunts and trying out new to me restaurants has been derailed and frankly, I am struggling to get back on track.

My husband and I have been staying in, closed off, as our state opens up. For me, this need to remain vigilant comes from having worked nearly twenty years in healthcare. Seeing medical professionals I know personally and admire, urge care and consideration, hearing their frustration and fear, causes me to slow my pace and err on the side of caution if only out of respect for them.

I think about my mother, who died of cancer. How frail and fragile she was. How she fought so bravely against a beast but was left vulnerable to a simple cold.

I think about how scared I was, working with sick patients day after day, then heading over to tend to her. How I hoped against hope that I could continue to be her lifeline and not the carrier of something small that would prove too big for her to handle.

How I don’t want to be the weak link in someone else’s chain.

And although I am a natural home body, all of this staying in, has left me feeling out of my mind and out of sorts lately. Add in the unrest in my area and the country in general, and I, personally have been left feeling heavy under the psychic weight of the world, overwhelmed and under productive.

I wake up feeling like today is the day I will get shit done and then I decide that will happen…..later.

So I apologize if it feels like I have been “phoning it in” recently and I thank you for bearing with me. I am working hard to clear the static, find my signal, channel my energy and return to regularly scheduled programming.